> Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
> following words:
>
> Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
>
> Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
> fire at one end & a fool
> on the other.
>
> Lecture: An art of transferring information from the
> notes of the lecturer
> to the notes of the students without passing through
> "the minds of either"
>
> Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by
> the number present.
>
> Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way
> that everybody believes
> he got the biggest piece.
>
> Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine
> will-power is defeated by
> feminine water power...
>
> Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
>
> Conference Room: A place where everybody talks,
> nobody listens and everybody
> disagrees later on.
>
> Classic: A book which people praise, but do not
> read.
>
> Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things
> straight.
>
> Office: A place where you can relax after your
> strenuous home life.
>
> Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to
> open their mouth.
>
> Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know
> more than you actually do.
>
> Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
> individually and sit to decide
> that nothing can be done together.
>
> Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
>
> Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
>
> Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during
> life, to be spoken of when
> dead.
>
> Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he
> accidentally falls into a
> river.
>
> Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel
> tower says in midway "See
> I am not injured yet."
>
> Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die
> rich.
>
> Father: A banker provided by nature.
>
> Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except
> that he got caught.
>
> Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and
> late when you are early.
>
> Politician: One who shakes your hand before
> elections and your confidence
> after.
>
> Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and
> kills you with his bills.
>